The burqa : Weapon of choice or fashion statement?

Friday, 28 January 2011 18:11 Lilith Satire - Satirical Articles

Is it my imagination, or has it suddenly become “trendy” to commit a “burqa crime”.?

It appears it’s becoming the “weapon of choice” They’re popping up all over the place.

Luton In England has a very good record. It boasts the highest number of ‘burqa clad’ armed hold-ups annually in England. Ottawa, Canada, recently had its fifth in 6 months ! 

 Have they no self respect ?

Whilst I realise that no self respecting criminal should be caught  without one in their wardrobe, surely they can have a change of colour?

There is such a vast choice these days to choose from, to commit their crimes in, so  why do they always choose the most boring – BLACK. ?

Just plain black , let’s face it, is becoming very common place, boring and looks like  a mobile tarpaulin.

Besides the fact, in a hot climate it would be much cooler not to wear BLACK!!

Just plain black , let’s face it, is becoming very common place, boring and looks like  a mobile tarpaulin.

Besides the fact, in a hot climate it would be much cooler not to wear BLACK!!

Even us ‘older’ gals prefer a bit of colour in our lives.

The “old Afghan blue” would make for variety in colour….. though it has been “done to death” literally.

Lately the odd red one is seen about ‘down town Kabul’ …………….. and this, the very latest out of Afghanistan, is quite striking. 

Now - with the newer designs becoming available, it would make life far more interesting for those amongst us who commit armed hold-ups and certainly more entertaining, for those of us who are subjected to repeats of CCTV footage, that we have a change of colour.

This one comes complete  with a removable niqab !!

Don’t tell me that this isn’t more preferable than plain old boring black. The niqab can be removed,  then the “outfit” can be worn whilst out on a date, Oh, hang on - no dates !!

It now seems that the fashion houses of "le Gai Paris" are getting in on the act, after all, they don’t want to miss  out on a money making opportunity, from this exciting new craze which is sweeping the world.

Paris designers are now staging their own unveilings in the Middle East.

“Saks Fifth Avenue, of Riyadh, is a gleaming department store in the oil-rich Gulf state. It’s there that designer abayas with the labels of Paris fashion houses are sold. These floor-length, robe-like dresses are worn by millions  of Muslim women.”

“It’s meant to be modest – but that doesn’t mean it can’t be luxurious.

The French labels by John Galliano of Dior, as well as Nina Ricci and Jean Claude Jitrois, appear on
abayas adorned by Swarovski crystals and elaborate embroidery.

They range in price for $2,000 to $2,500 for ready-to-wear, while a couture abaya, with a coordinating  veil could go for as much as $11,500.” (source)

Gucci hasn’t missed out either with his own range abayas, though - BLACK AGAIN??

Let’s face the fact too, that life would be much easier if you could identify yourself more easily, on your old school photos!!

And now, here for the fashion conscious burglar, or woman about town, is a pattern for you to make your very own chador.

You can ‘pop’ down to Spotlight, or purchase on line at where they have the largest choice of fabrics and haberdashery in the country.

How to Sew a Chador - Prayer Outfit

• This is a chador works great as a prayer outfit, using lightweight cotton material;
• or as a general everyday outfit, using lightweight silky polyester…or other fabric
• of your choice. Use 150cm wide material.

• Measure from your forehead, down your back, to the floor. Purchase twice this
• amount of fabric.
• Fold fabric in half, right sides together, with fold at top.
• Use pins to mark points A-C, approximately 12"inches apart.
• To find the appropriate length for lines A-B and C-D. Measure from the top of your
• head down to your wrist.
• Place your hand at the edge of the fabric and pin on either side to mark the opening
• for your hands [Points B-E and D-F].
• Cut as indicated by the solid lines in the Diagram.
• Cut open the fold between A-C.
• Cut the bottom with a large smooth curve.
• The front of the chador needs to be cut shorter than the back. Cut only the top layer of fabric.
• Cut a slight curve between A-C, for a face opening. Cut only the top layer of fabric.
• Sew along lines A-B and C-D.
• Sew down from E-X and F-X. Leaving the opening for your hands. Fold out.
• Try on the chador and check the length. You should be able to pull the chador over your
• forehead to cover your hair.
• Hem the raw edges and opening as desired.
• You could attach a piece of elastic or binding to either side of the face (Points A-C) and
• tie these behind your head to prevent the chador from slipping.
• You could also make a triangular under scarf from the excess material to provide
• more coverage for the forehead.