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Domestic Cycle Of Violence

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Abuse of Muslim WomenHaving worked as a police officer for a number of years I was particularly interested with two recent comments from two female readers who were in either a domestic relationship with a Muslim man or having just escaped from one.

What raised my concern was this. How many Muslim marriages are out there within our society, in which the wife or wives, are subjected to repeated domestic violence, and are not reported because of the fear of retribution from the husband or the husbands relatives? The desperation that women, especially Muslim women would feel whenever their spouse, who is sanctioned to use violence against her by Islam, takes it upon himself to beat her is debilitating in the extreme. Who do these women turn to? Do they have a Muslim refuge for beaten wives? Do they have a counseling group who can help calm that aggressive husband?
Having been to many domestic incidents in my time (mostly non-Muslim) as a cop, what stood out most in my mind at some of these incidents was the compliance of the victim, to the offender. In that I mean there was a level of servitude or obedience that spelt out to me that the victim often expected to have a level of violence used against her as part and parcel of the relationship. Sometimes these relationships went on for years before the victim gained the courage to speak out. A phenomena associated with this type of relationship was that the victim would often come to the offenders ‘rescue’ whenever police had sufficient evidence at the scene to cause an arrest. There were times, when both the victim and the offender would have to be arrested due to the aggression of the victim, in trying to protect the offender from police attention, which when pondered, is almost akin to the Stockholm syndrome.
 
Some victims of domestic violence have to be ‘debriefed’ before they are able to resume a normal life with the opposite sex outside of their previous relationship. By this I mean, that some victims become so hardened to violence within their relationship that violence is an expectation, if you will, for the continuance of that relationship. Over the past few years there has been some progress in breaking the ‘cycle’ of domestic violence by acknowledging a number of factors which, when taken into context, forms what is commonly referred to as a ‘Cycle of Violence.’

It is recognizing and acting on this Cycle of Violence that enables victims of domestic abuse to ask for help or finally leave the relationship that they were victim to. In this regard I believe Muslim marriages would be no different in how the victim feels as compared to a non- Muslim marriage. The exception here of course is the sanctioning of violence by Islam for the Muslim husband to use against his wife. Beating a person into submission is not only physical abuse it is also psychological abuse which eventually subjugates the victim into a role of servitude or slavery, depending on the level of abuse meted out. Who can imagine the terror that the cowering and beaten wife is feeling while she is trying to hide and remove herself from a raging husband who continually hits and beats her with his hands, or maybe a weapon, believing that what he is doing is just Allahs will. How many women who wear the burqua are in fact covering up the previous nights bruises?

For those women out there who may be reading this article and are subject to an abusive husband, please take note of the following as it may help you realize when it is time to leave the house. What is the Cycle of Violence?

THE BUILD UP where the husband or partner experiences tension and is preoccupied with his own view of the world, such as watching porn or other activities which exclude the victim. This person has an exaggerated sense of importance and can be full of righteous indignation. He will often blame someone else for his circumstances and relies on others for his needs. This build up may occur over a few hours or even a few days.

EXPLOSION, this is the most dangerous stage and may involve physical or verbal abuse or both. The husband or partner becomes very aggressive in his demands until he ‘snaps.’ There maybe threats of physical harm or damage to the victims property and the incident usually occurs within the home. This is the stage that all victims should recognize and leave the house immediately.

REGRET AND REMORSE, the aggressor now experiences remorse, helplessness or guilt or a combination of two or more feelings. Blame for his abusive behaviour will be aimed at the victim but there will also be promises of better treatment in future and that the abuse will never re-occur.

Cycle ogf Violence

And so the ‘cycle’ continues, repeating itself, over and over again until the victim either decides to do something about it, or gives in time after time pretending that it will not happen again.
        
There are procedures in place which are designed to protect the victim and there are police specialists who are domestic violence officers, at almost every police station, whose goal is to ensure that the victim is adequately guided in legal matters.

If this scenario fits you then you need to do something about it before the next cycle begins. Call your local police station or pay them a visit if you are able to and speak to a Domestic Liaison Officer. And remember this. It does not matter if your husband is Muslim. Under Australian Law he is not entitled by his religion, to beat or abuse you, and when you complain to the police he will be dealt with very swiftly.
Last Updated on Sunday, 10 August 2008 11:54  

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History - Violent Jihad

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History - Violent Jihad

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History - Tolerance Myths

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History - Imperialism

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History - Stolen Heritage

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